HRANB Newsletter

Understand the Players
To each interaction we all bring a variety of experiences and biases which sometimes cloud understandings of the client’s needs. It is not always a conflict of right and wrong, but may be a simple misunderstanding or feelings such as anger or frustration. Anger may also develop from emotions of fear and hurt, and may originate long before the client interacts with public professionals. We have to place our personal perceptions aside and work on understanding how clients see a particular situation. This is not the same as compromising our beliefs, but a skill of not bringing our own emotions into the interaction. Clients can be very emotional, but as professionals we should not. Take note that the difference between facts and perceptions is the influence of emotions. Emotions can create additional barriers and decrease clarity. We need to see the person’s behaviour as difficult and not the person as difficult.

Have a Plan of Action
The First decision is how to react at the first moment of aggression or irate behaviour. Standing, facing someone and listening while preparing for an unfortunate response, can be powerful. Positioning your body and hands can assist in calming a behaviour or communicating your message. It needs to be comfortable and relaxed but in preparation to respond if the other person decides to push, slap or hit. I also highly recommend a “Jump-In Agreement” between coworkers. When a client becomes aggressive towards one staff member, coworkers should have permission to step in and ask if they may help with the issue. Then the irate client has to retell their story and can remain upset with the first employee while directing their attention towards the coworker. The more the story is told, the more likely the behavior will calm and communications will clear.

Listening More Than Talking
There is a saying in the world of negotiations, “the one who talks too much usually gives up too much!” To get all information needed, allow clients to hand over information. Too many times we ask a question and do not allow time for the full answer. It also helps if you can slow down the interaction. When people are upset it takes them longer to process thoughts. So give them the extra time. Tell the person what you heard, and not what they, “said”. As mentioned before, what we hear is our interpretation and truly can not be argued. This helps allow clarity without appearing condescending. Also, make use of the power of silence. The more the irate client talks and explains their perceptions, the quicker they will calm down. It is hard for a person to stay mad and aggressive; it takes too much energy. Silence can be very powerful. People can be uncomfortable with silence and feel they have to fill in the blank spaces. After receiving the information, paraphrase and ask the person if that is what they are trying to get across. Stating, “What I am hearing you say is….” This passively provides opportunity to find clarity. This does not infer agreement, just clarity in what was understood.

Eric S. Trogdon
www.stepscanada.ca

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