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June 2007 Newsletter

Work life Balance: Managing Stress & Self
by Susan Arisz

So as I sit here at 11 pm writing this article I wonder would most people consider me as having work life balance? Probably not and in a lot of ways I would have to agree. I cannot be the model of perfect balance but I have learned several things along that way that have kept me sane and given me the ability to balance a busy job, challenging home life, friendships, exercise, and personal growth. I know my limit. I know my stress limit and my work limit.

Individuals react to stress in different ways. We have inherited the stress reaction from our cavemen ancestors and because of its protective nature. Imagine a caveman confronting a wild animal and you understand why the stress reaction was so vital to survival. This is the same reaction we experience today – and while it is crucial in a real crisis, it is inappropriate for our day-to-day lives. Not only are most of our stressors not life-threatening, but fighting and running away are not exactly acceptable responses to most stressors. If someone is chasing you down a dark alley, the stress reaction can be lifesaving. But when the stress comes from an angry boss or a long line at the bank, hitting your boss or running down the street at high speed would hardly be helpful.

It is important to know that we can work to control stress and know ourselves and what we can and cannot control or influence. We all can make decisions and changes in certain areas – for example how involved we want to get in an issue – e.g. road rage, what we are going to where or eat, what makes up happy/sad.

To deal with stress, you need to identify its sources in your life. You need to recognize how stress affects you, understand how to avoid harmful stress, and know how you can deal with it when it occurs. You also need to realize that some events are out of your control. You want to reduce the stress you feel and help eliminate the emotional, mental, and physical problems it may cause. Come up with strategies to cope with areas of concern outside your circle of influence are critical for dealing with stress.

Strategies to avoid stress include managing your time and commitments, establishing a strong system of social support and effective coping strategies, and leading a healthy lifestyle, including getting adequate sleep and eating healthfully.

It's also important to remember YOU decide your responses – in conflict or other situations only you are in control of your reaction and behaviour and although you can do things to influence the behaviours of others you can truly only control your own. The key to work life balance is to know when you have met your demands and threshold.

You set your own limits. Knowing when the need to do/perform/have takes over other things. Feeling guilty leaving work “on time”, not finishing tasks, not having the perfect home – being able to let this go and find joy and happiness in what you are doing and with the self are critical to balance.

Coping mechanisms are varied – for me it is yoga, meditation and breathing and I often fail. I try to regroup as quickly as possible in these situations as who wants to feel miserable, cranky, disappointed and ill when we know we can feel happy, at peace, satisfied and engaged?

Balance means managing yourself and your reaction to others around you.

Just when we feel good internally we often receive external input that causes additional stress or doubt. As HR professionals in demanding roles we see an abundance of stress from external sources. The stronger our coping mechanisms and comfort with ourselves the less these external influencers will have an effect.

It is not a “flight or fight” choice – it is a stand and cope choice

Top Five Tips for Creating Balance:

• Think about your personal expectations as well as the expectations of others
• Don't try to do everything yourself (control freaks beware)
• Leave time for spontaneous craziness
• Remember, if you don't get everything done it is not the end of the world
• Procrastinating may mean the task is unnecessary.

Only you can determine what matters most and take control of your life. You need to determine what must be done and what you would like to do - the goal is to create a balance between these two aspects of your life. You need to regularly ask yourself what makes you truly happy and map out a goal to get there. This will put you on the path to creating balance.